MELODY MAKER DECEMBER 23/30, 1989
THE NOD CORNER
Six months ago, TTT first created the Nod Corner. Now the
Nephs' drummer has become a legend in his own lunchbox.
Carol Clerk interviews the great man and now proudly presents
the real Nod Corner.
The moment is breathtaking. One minute, he's Nod, drummer of
Fields Of The Nephilim, chatting placidly of a pint of Flowers
Best. Next minute, he's Nod, star of The Nod Corner, he most
put-upon little person in the history of rock'n'roll, forever
getting stitched up by Pete, Paul and Tony, the uvvers, the
rotten bastards.
"It was when we first went to Europe," he recalls, gazing back
in time through a cloud of Embassy smoke. "Paul (Nephs'
guitarist) and I had bunks together on the ferry. I usually share
with Paul. Paul's the booby prize.
"Of course the old first trip to Europe is quite an exciting
event, really, what with not having been abroad before. Paul
had a little bit too much of the duty-frees, and that's when he
went into the shower with all his clothes on.
"He woke up in the corner of the shower soaking wet, and he
thought I'd wee'd all over him cos I hated him. So that was it,
really. He woke me up on the top bunk. He well and truly
woke me up."
Oh no, so what happened?
"I hit him. I had to hit him. I hit him a couple of times and he
didn't hit me back, so I must have scored a goal or two."
Well, at least you won that one.
"I'm a forgiving sort of person," says Nod, generously. "Paul
does it and I forgive him. I don't ever do anything wrong to
him. I just try and keep him on the straight and narrow, and it's
getting thinner and thinner."
There are four of us at this one little table in the Sun pub in
Drury Lane, London. There's myself, there's Steve (the Nephs'
manager), there's Nod, and there's Nod's hat, right in the middle
of the table, back with an eerie, ingrained white glow which
comes from too many years of flour abuse.
As the evening progresses, Nod alternates erratically between
his two personae. Nod of The Nephs is a remarkably good sport
who takes the misadventures of his TTT alter ego firmly in his
stride, refers affectionately to "The Corner", cracks jokes, about
"being cornered", alludes from time to time to various of his
factitious escapades, in particular his unfortunate experience as
a goalkeeper in The Nephs' football team, and is earnestly,
utterly preoccupied by the music and career of his band.
Nod of The Nod Corner, on the other hand, is a wonderful
underdog, his every well-meaning action wilfully misconstrued
by the uvvers to their lord and master Carl McCoy, who
invariably passes sentence of 10 press-ups. Nod has the
sympathy of the nation.
"I feel sorry for him as well" says Nod. "I'm going to end up
like Benny out of 'Crossroads', ain't I? I feel sorry for him
having to do f***ing press-ups all the time. I'd like to think of
something else for him to do. Why doesn't somebody give me
40 press-ups instead of 10?
"Everything in The Corner backfires and turns out wrong. The
Nod's Revenge Corner wasn't revengeful enough. That f***ing
backfired as well. I'd like one that I actually won. I feel pretty
sorry for me as well sometimes. 'Who is this poor geezer
shrouded in mist and smoke?' But I'd like to think that I can
play well that I can pull it out of the bag live. 'Nod'll be OK'"
As an hour in the pub turns into five and a half hours, the
distinction between Nod of The Nephs and Nod of The Corner
becomes increasingly blurred. Whichever one is speaking, the
reader is welcome to decide.
We go back to the beginnings, about six months ago when a
spoof story heralded the arrival in all of it's glory the following
week of The Nod Corner. The original tale found the rotten
bastards pushing Nod into the most intimate parts of Carl's
anatomy with his head in a goldfish bowl.
"It takes your breath away a bit, the first time," says Nod of his
initial reaction. "I went all embarrassed all of a quick sudden.
The first one was the one that did my head in, the goldfish
bowl sketch, and I was getting rammed up Carl's arse. I can
imagine that. I can imagine them doing it. What with the
goldfish bowl steaming up, that was a wind-up."
"Once I got my own corner and got established with the picture
and that, everything's been roses since."
Well, not quite roses.
"I did deliberately stop reading them the week Jeremy Beadle
got into it. I don't like Jeremy Beadle or 'Beadles About'.
What's he doing in my Corner, little sod?"
"A lot of people think I write it, people we bump into in pubs.
When they find out I don't, they think there should be some
sort of libel action. The fans have found it offensive. We were
on tour when there was a few of 'em about (Nod Corners), and
they thought I should be really angry about it.
"My girlfriend didn't like it at first, but she saw that it doesn't
do you any harm. I'm not offended. Nothing really bothers me
that much.
"There's more important things I've got to worry about. We will
be playing next year, and that's when I've got to do my bit.
We've gotta try and blow people's heads off. That's the only
thing that counts. That's more important than what other people
decide to write about me."
What do the rest of the Nephs think about The Corner?
"We all have quite a bit of a giggle about it. Obviously, it's
"Oh, Nod's in the Corner all of a sudden." Carl thikns it's
funny. Some of 'em are just a bit silly."
Are the uvvers ever jealous of your increasing legend?
"No. When it all boils down to it, I'm still Nod the drummer.
They can still throw me back in that Nod The Drum Machine
box. But I'll break out of it. No, they're pleased...of course.
"Paul likes it cos he's constantly taking the piss out of me, and
it's making me famous, and he's my brother as well."
Are the rotten bastards really rotten bastards?
"Yeah, yeah. A typical three-some as they are portrayed. If
there's a good piss-take to be had out of me, they'll have it.
When it's me against them then it's 'the uvvers' and they're the
rotten bastards. Paul's a right little bastard, I'll tell you. He's the
worst rotten bastard. But I've got the whole band at my
fingertips now. They're well scared, shit scared of me at the
moment. I've got The Corner, haven't I?"
What's the worst thing Carl's ever done?
"Drink a bottle of Southern Comfort on a ferry - same tour,
different ferry - and try and punch Tony. That was the worst
thing he ever tried to do."
Did it work?
"No, of course it didn't. He spun around and fell over in front
of everybody."
And what's the most unexpected thing he'd ever done?
"He's said 'Goodnight' at a gig before."
Nod disappears to the toilet for the 100th time in an hour. It's
impossible to tell whether he's doing this because he needs to
or because his alter ego in TTT suffers from a famously weak
bladder.
He returns, and we leave the Corner for a while to go back to
an event in the dim and distant past: the naming of Nod.
"It was when I was really young and before I had any say in
the matter," says Nod, pushing long and shiny locks of hair
back off his shoulder." It as something to do with my
grandfather, and I don't even remember him very well. I was in
a bloody pram, for crying out loud."
"Instead of being rocked, I used to nod. That's what it was. I
remember the pram. It wasn't one of those buggy things. It was
like a perambulator."
This must be one of your earliest memories.
"Well, that was pretty young. I could've been two then, I
suppose. I don't remember being born. One of my brothers
does. There you are, complete darkness, and suddenly you're
out there and you got six geezers looking at you with lots of
funny masks on..."
Nod's warming to his theme, cute face getting cuter by the
second as the big brown eyes start looking mischievous.
"I remember when my and my brother were heating up a cake
we blew ourselves out of the kitchen. We ended up out in the
yard.
"We turned the gas on, and then we went to look for some
matches, and by the time we found some and got back...there I
was, eyebrowless and nearly noseless. I think that's what
happened to my nose. I remember shouting at my mum that I
had a distinct lack of nose and eyebrows. I just remember
sitting there and the pair of us waiting for the ambulance to
come."
I regretfully have to tell nod that this very issue brings with it
the last-ever corner. He takes it like a man.
"I'll feel quite relieved, I suppose, cos my picture's getting
smaller and smaller. I'm wondering by the time it does stop,
how small people will think I really am. So The Nod Corner is
finishing at Christmas. Is that your way of saying to the band
'How about doing something, as from the New Year?' I'd think
to think it's like that. I think it's what we need. Sort the New
Year out with something really explosive."
At this point, we enter into a conversation about the next LP,
and it transpires that, in contrast to the little-hp-at-the-back
character of his corner reputation, Nod is completely immersed
in the doings of The Nephs.
He's the only member of the band to go into the rehearsal
studio to work on his own, recently. He pores over manuals,
studying and exploring his electronic drum equipment, day and
night.
He spends hours pondering ideas, arrangements, sounds and
effects. And he worries. Constantly.
"There's no time for pleasure in this sort of environment," he
declares and whatever people expect to see from you when you
come back you have to be prepared to give them something
more.
"We strive so hard and spend so much time on doing something
different. You can platy normal music till it comes out of your
f***ing arse. You really can. I like to feel that that's the
Nephilim over there, instead of just another normal band. That's
how important it is, The band means everything to me.
"You can't have a day off no matter what you do. You're only
going to spend the day worrying about what you should be
doing tomorrow, thinking you should be doing it today so you
can do other things tomorrow, I suppose. You can't cut yourself
off. My life revolves around the band.
"When we're all on the road, we always tape the gig. I sit and
worry, sit in the hotel room and analyse the night before, and
make it better the next night."
What would you do if a miracle happened and you could have
a worry free day off?
"I'd probably wash my car. It's a black one, a Triumph
Dolomite. I got it sprayed a couple of months ago, and I
haven't washed it since."
Anything else?
"I play a mean game of pool. And I'd like to spend a bit more
time getting outside. Everything we do is indoors, cooped up in
some sort of little room with lots of noise going on. I'd like to
go out and breathe the fine air again first thing in the morning,
or go running, get the feeling of the earth again."
Do you ever go wild and have fun?
"I haven't used 'fun' for a long time. You have 'fun' at
Blackpool Pier, don't you?"
"I went camping. That was a 'fun' thing. Me and my girlfriend
went on holiday two months ago to Poole in Dorset. It was the
bollox, just to get away, clear the air for a couple of days, have
a look at the good seaside, take another look at things."
"When you're inside, you tend to get bogged down with all the
work. Everything else is just like a big swirligig, over you
head, really."
The swirligig that is Nod's burgeoning fame has returned to
hover above us, and Nod is explaining what he would do if he
ever met the creator of The Nod Corner.
"I'd say good evening and headbutt him. And then I'd headbutt
him gain."
Is there any particular thing other than Jeremy Beadle, which
has annoyed you about The Corner?
"I can't handle all this broad Cockney sketch they keep putting
across as me, the 'Cor blimeys'. Since then I've being taking
lots of elocution lessons, trying to get myself sorted out."
This turns out to be nod's only major grumble about the
inaccuracies surrounding his alter ego. On the other side of the
coin, has The Nod Corner accidentally stumbled on any home
truths?
"Some things did, I suppose. There are perceptions of the
niggling thing going on. And the 'Ain't Half Hot Mum' corner
had had an element of truth."
This was the one which found Nod copping the blame for
substituting The Nephs' Wagnerian intro tape for a Don Estelle
song.
"It seemed to be quite an inside sort of story. I've done things
like that from time to time. And Lofty used to be a really
favourite character of mine, so I suppose that's my favourite
Corner."
Any other coincidences, Nod, apart from the fact that you're
also have a dog (not, alas, an Alsatian called Sod, but a black
Labrador called Fonz)?
"The geezer who writes the Corner knows that vocalists have a
certain amount of dominance. We can't get bloody Equity cards.
He (Carl) can.
"Carl usually does all the talking, so he seems to end up being
the leader of the band, but there's the rotten bastards in the
middle and me in the back. Carl can't just walk along and
decide to sing over something. It's got to be arranged so
everything is set for him to come in with it.
"Carl's quite an influential part of the band, keeping things in
line with what we want to do, but there's no leader. We all
contribute."
"Also, in The Corner, everything's done behind Carl's back,
which is sort of true in a way. It's not that we do things behind
his back, but some things are presented to Carl is quite funny."
What, with faith and admiration?
"It's definitely there I suppose. Yeah, I reckon he's a little bit
like that character in The Corner. Just don't go round there..."
Who would you say is the most handsome member in the
band?
"I'd say it was Carl, really. I don't really fancy him that much,
though. I reckon I'm coming a close second. I reckon we're all
pretty handsome. There aren't any ugly members in our band."
Does Nod or the Nephs ever feel put-upon, like Nod or The
Nod Corner?
"Yeah, but only because you're that drumming person. You
should be born with at least a couple more arms to do what
everybody else wants you to do. It might make life a hell of a
lot easier."
Life is hardly easy at the moment for any of The Nephs, who
are intent on pursuing the directions and dramas of the epic
"Psychonaut" on their next and most ambitious album and
being able to reproduce it live.
"Carl's been in training for a while and I've been doing my
press-ups, getting fit. If the shots keep slipping through my
hands, it's no good having a goalkeeper at all. That's as good as
a one-legged man at an arse-kicking party.
The rest of the lads are working fine on mid-field, coming up
with all the overdubs and things. I'm sure we'll have a strong
team."
The bells of doom are ringing out last orders, and there's just
one final thing. How does it feel to have become a legend in
the last six months of The Nod Corner?
"I feel legendous. When I go back on tour and just generally
get out of Stevenage for half an hour again, which is what I'm
desperate to do. I'll be a little more famous that what I have
been before. Everyone tells me that nothing changes, so it
shouldn't be much different, except for more people asking
more questions.
"I've heard that I'm going to be strapped to this big chair which
is going up in te air and round and round. I've heard I'm getting
fired out of a big cannon as well, strapped to my drumkit..."
Nod: don't forget that forwards, it almost spells god.
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